Adieu, 2019 and the decade!

2019, Dec 31    

Heya,

2019

has almost waved adieu \o/

It felt like it started a month before and here we are welcoming the next decade.

The year brought me with a lot of experience, some were worst to handle, and some were so good that they became a memory!
PS. This is gonna be a little bit wavy with the mood!

Initially this year, I was a lost person. o/

Didn’t know what was I up to? What I wanted it to?

Starting a new year with a lot of thoughts in mind kinda made me frustrated and irritated, felt like a waste to me. I was unaware of the fact that Where I should start things with? or what I'm gonna do next?
PS. These questions stills haunt me.

People always praised me as the Class topper, but I never found pride in it, still a day before yesterday I asked a friend what is the thing that makes me look apart from folks, he said "CGPA". I was so lost with my technical stuff. I knew that coding normal problem can't lead me anywhere. The thing pissed me off.
Do you know what acts as a catalyst?
The people who have expectations from you, the people who look up to you, who think you can do stuff, but deep down you know the real truth.

So, I asked another friend who was struggled enough and kinda mentors to me, he told me about the beauty of open-source, and GSOC.
That was the first step towards entering a new family. I am the type of person who either estimates too much from self or underestimates entirely, hard to find a medium barrier. I was hoping to get into summer of code, and wasted my exams prep for it, but ended up at nothing, that was an expected but a major failure. To be frank, it hit me hard, but as they say, it's never too late for something.

After a day or to, I turned to Debian IRC for the first time and met another God Mentor Praveen, he is a Debian Developer and has a cool nick as Pirate, never saw a person so polite and helps you with everything, he helped me in all ways and made me comfortable with the technical stuff. I made mistakes but two of these were always there to help and eventually, Debian became familiar to work with me, and I liked to turn on to IRC each day and contribute to it, haven't done anything significant enough, but yes trying! One of the things, I found happy and worth mentioning from this year.
And yes, From May to September 14th, on my 99th day of contribution, I gave my first talk at Mini DebConf, Goa 2019. Finally, met Praveen in person. I was so conscious at the time what to say and what not to, but both Praveen and Utkarsh made things comfortable there, and yeah it was Goa(first time for boarding plane, for walking side of the beach, attending a tech conference and giving a talk.
Wow, that was the happiest time from the whole year.

Hope to become like the two of them someday :D

Coming back to college was a major breakdown from all the adventure and fun I had. And it's real pain in everything when college authorities never favor you for anything. I started to like a life alone, with my sweet slows slongs from Spotify and their ads.
The 15th of October came, the birthday celebration was one of the best in the past years.

After that things started falling so much, found me in a place where I was so so stuck and was overthink everything, legitimately and this is what became a big barrier, the biggest hindrance for acting on the plans. Got a bunch of close friends by my side for help.

Moreover, the things that helped?
Read the biography of Steve Jobs, it was so motivating and awesome. Silicon Valley, Scorpion, and Mr. Robot is something that has a whole different place. Also, the ending month of the year brought me with F.R.I.E.N.D.S. any other fans? It helped me to cope up with the semesterly major papers.
Also worth mentioning, the semester made me realize the interest in Computer Architecture! The exams came like a thunderstorm and went away, leaving it's after effect. I almost lost one of the close people meanwhile, things are better off now.

Here comes another failure at the ending of the year, I would say, it was an overestimation to get an internship so that I can finally go out and live independently on my own. Former says the failure, hence the latter, No, I didn't get in.

But things haven't started to fall in my place yet, hope so the new decade will!
Mom keeps saying, "Don't let the fear of rejections, or not achieving what you thought hinders your hard work, and whenever things are destined they will keep up with the consistency of work", and that what's I like to do.

Would like to thank my family for all the support and strength. Also, worth mentioning friends here, Utkarsh, Nishtha, Ritambhra, Pratiksha, Best Brains, Amigos and a bunch of the people who came into my life and went away, it was a worth experience.

Thanks to you for going through all this, and hope the new year of the new decade brings you lots of happiness, joy, and love.

Happy New Year and a new Decade!

echo "Adieu, till next!!"